Alum writes about his search for meaning after devastating stroke

In 2021, Charles Garrettson ’78 M.A.R. suddenly began losing control of his right hand. The George Mason University religion professor texted a doctor friend who advised him to immediately get to the nearest emergency room. Garrettson was able to drive himself to the ER, where he soon lost use of his entire right side and his speech. He had suffered a carotid artery dissection that led to a devastating stroke. 

Five years later, Garrettson continues to deal with the consequences of his stroke. He has limited use of his right hand, foot, and shoulder. He uses a walker to get around. His speech, as he puts it, still “sucks.” And perhaps most difficult of all, he has been unable to continue his vocation as a teacher. Yet, Garrettson says because of his stroke, he has learned to find meaning, peace, and joy in his life. 

Garrettson describes his experience and his post-stroke search for meaning in his new self-published memoir Stroke of Luck: An Exercise in Meaning. He wrote the book using the index finger of his non-dominant hand and an app on his iPhone. 

“The message is hope,” he says. “My life changed, but I adapted to my new life. You can too.”

Becoming a teacher

Born and raised in Allentown, Penn., Garrettson has long been drawn to the study of history, religion, and philosophy. He earned his undergraduate degree at the University of Virginia (UVA), where the late theologian Julian Hartt became his mentor. Hartt was founding chair of Yale’s Department of Religious Studies and taught at Yale Divinity School for three decades. Hartt encouraged Garrettson to get his master’s degree at YDS, and he attended there from 1976 to 1978.

“YDS had a major impact on my life,” Garrettson says. 

On Hartt’s recommendation, Garrettson took two courses taught by theologian Robert Johnson, who had served as YDS dean from 1963 to 1969 and continued to teach there after he stepped down as dean. Garrettson describes Johnson as “one of my greatest teachers in my life” and recalls the professor receiving three standing ovations during one class. Garrettson says it was during his time at YDS that he realized his calling in life was to be a teacher.

“Before going to YDS, I was uncertain about my path [and whether] I should go into ministry or teaching,” Garrettson says. “YDS gave me great certainty. I knew that my path was teaching.”

After returning to UVA to earn a Ph.D. in philosophy and social ethics, Garrettson spent more than 30 years in the teaching profession, including at Muhlenberg College, the Hill School (an independent Pennsylvania boarding school for grades 9-12), and George Mason University. 

He was active in hobbies such as hiking and landscape photography, and he loved meeting with friends for robust intellectual discussions about, in his words, “what matters.” However, his 2021 stroke changed everything. 

Seeing light in a darkened room

In his book, Garrettson describes the early days after his stroke. “I became aware that my life had acquired a metaphor: like a darkened room,” he writes. “In fact, I became depressed. Losing hope. … I was locked inside a darkened room without a key.”

He experienced deep fear and anxiety, along with feelings of humiliation about his condition. He grieved his loss of speech and his inability to perform activities such as driving, traveling, and hiking. “The worst part of my stroke was stopping teaching,” he says. “My teaching is not my job, but my mission. How could I let go of that mission?”

One of Garrettson’s speech teachers suggested he watch a TED talk by brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor, who had suffered her own massive stroke. “I wept,” Garrettson says. “She gave me hope and stopped me feeling alone.”

Garrettson was also inspired by Austrian psychiatrist, philosopher, and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl and his seminal book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Garrettson says he first read the book many years earlier when he was battling depression at the beginning of his teaching career. Post-stroke, he realized Frankl’s ideas were even more relevant. 

“The point of my life is to find meaning. My path was brought into clear focus, very much like focusing a lens,” he says.

Garrettson says he learned to find meaning and to connect with his “healthy core” through three basic principles: create something, build relationships, and find purpose in the pain. He looked to what he describes as his main sources of inspiration, Jesus Christ, Greek philosopher Socrates, and Lao Tze, the Chinese founder of Taoism.

Garrettson says he also began looking for “glimmers of light” that bring hope to his life. For him, some of those glimmers included listening to music and audio books, the love and support of family and friends, the sound of his car, and the value of stillness. 

“I have hope amidst the darkness. I see very bright light in my darkened room,” he says. “A major symbol in Taoism is the yin/yang symbol that represents equal but opposing forces. That symbolizes reality. The point of life is to stay on that line that divides yin and yang, black versus white, darkness versus light. We must stay in balance.”

Writing his book, Garrettson says, was another path to finding meaning. “Every word flowed out of me,” he says. “Writing my story gave great meaning to my life. It gave me real joy.” 

In addition to exploring his own experiences, Garrettson’s book includes reflections from a wide array of philosophical, religious, and spiritual texts that have helped bring him hope and peace. He hopes the lessons he has learned will help other stroke survivors and their caretakers, as well as anyone experiencing hardship.

“I did not have peace for a long time, even before my stroke,” he writes in the book. “Now, I am enjoying peace, despite and because of my stroke. It took my stroke to force me to see myself completely.”

“The word ‘crisis’ in Chinese is two words put together. The first word means danger and the second word means opportunity,” he adds. “Whenever we face a crisis, we focus on the danger. It is counterintuitive, but if one focuses on the opportunity instead of the danger, we find a way out of the crisis. Hence, the last word of my book is ‘opportunity.’”

Kim Lawton is an award-winning reporter, producer, and writer who has worked in broadcast, print and online media. For nearly 20 years, Lawton was Managing Editor and Correspondent for the highly acclaimed national public television program “Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly.”