Don Motaka, MDiv

The judge explained that if I pleaded out, I could choose to go to a monastery. Otherwise, it would 3-5 at the Federal Minimum Facility at Allenwood. I had to think about it because Allenwood is said to have a nifty 9-hole executive course (meaning, all par 3s). So I chose the only Lutheran Monastery in North America (and only one of three in the world); I am a simple professed monk in the Congregation of the Servants of Christ at St. Augustine's House Lutheran Monastery. The local ELCA bishop sends me a yearly letter giving me a dispensation to celebrate the Eucharist solely at the Church of the Visitation at St. Augustine's House; I say Mass every other day and preside and preach at Sunday Mass every other Sunday. I spend my time listening for God and working in a fairly serious woodworking shop (see the photo) I was given permission to set up in the two-car garage on the monastery campus. Oh yeah, and I also care for three feral cats - Belle, Chloe and Calliope (deliberately named for pagans, because cats at a monastery? they ain't exactly saints). I also want to give a shout-out to Mike Curry: Dude! Hangin' with the royals! Ya done us proud, bro.

Peas. Out.